Pantyhose Humour



anti-cellulite pantyhose cartoon



When bored at home, put pantyhose over your head and hang the feet over the strings for laundry drying.  Now you are a trolley bus!

game - trolleybus - pantyhose on your head


Or how about this for a truth or dare game?

ГђВєГђВѕГђ»Р“ђВіГђВѕГ‘‚ки ГђВЅГђ° ГђВіГђВѕГђ»Р“ђВѕГђВІГђµ, игра троÐ»Р“С’»Р“С’µР“ђВ№Гђ±Р“‘ƒÑ

And this is why women need fishnet stockings:

why women need fishnet pantyhose humour

reason – tic tac toe



peaches cat and pantyhose humour - she forgot to shave her legs


ГђВєГђВѕГђ»Р“ђВіГђВѕГ‘‚ки с ГђВєГђВѕГ‘Л†ГђВєГђ°Р“ђВјГђВё, киса, когти, юмор, смÐµР“‘ˆÐ½Ñ‹Ðµ коты

funny pantyhose with cats


Pantyhose Jokes

Three married women went together to a party and on their way home got caught in a heavy rain.  The only shortcut was through a cemetery.  They ran fast, catching their clothes and pantyhose on bushes and branches.

Their husbands were also friends and they met up the next day.

One says:  “I think my wife is cheating on me.  She came home yesterday with her pantyhose all ripped up.”

The second one says:  “I think mine is cheating too because her pantyhose were all torn last night.”

The third one says:  “For sure my wife is cheating on me.  She came home yesterday with her pantyhose torn and a ribbon around her neck saying  WE’LL NEVER FORGET YOU, BOYS OF WISCONSIN.”



After a turbulent intercourse:

Guy: – “If you’d tell me that you are a virgin, I wouldn’t rush so much.”

Girl: – “If you wouldn’t rush so much, I’d have a chance to take off my pantyhose. ”


Any other jokes?  If you know of any other jokes about hosiery, please share them with me!  I’ll put it up on the blog.  I would love to expand the entertainment section here for all the hosiery fans.

Pantyhose at the Bank

From stupid labels on pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony.

 bank robbery

Pictures below are from a comical video where the bank robber comes in wearing a bra on his head.  People start laughing.

He tells them that there was no pantyhose in the store!  So he is wearing a bra instead.


OK, same situation.  The comic below with robbers wearing fishnet stockings on their heads says “Sorry, there was no other available”.

чуÐ»Р“ђВєГђВё ГђВІ сÐµР“‘‚ку юмор шутка прикол ГђВєГђ°Р“‘€Ð¸ÐºÐ°Р“‘‚ура ГђВєГђВѕГђВјГђВёГђВє ГђВєГђВѕГђ»Р“ђВіГђВѕГ‘‚ки ГђВЅГђ° ГђВіГђВѕГђ»Р“ђВѕГђВІГђµ Гђ±Р“С’°Р“ђВЅГђВє грÐ°Р“С’±Р“ђВёГ‘‚ÐµР“С’»Р“‘Е’

 Hand-Painted Pantyhose Commercial – So Cute!

This picture was sent to me by one of my fans.  Yes, it’s a real pantyhose commercial for a Croatian manufacturer!  I love animals, so I thought it was adorable.

The company no longer seems to be in business though, but there is a story about it online.

I would say personally that I like this idea of using pets to advertise hosiery.  It’s a different concept and most women just can’t resist but smile when they see a cute feline like here.  Isn’t marketing all about creating positive impressions?

But in reality pets and pantyhose don’t mix.  Claws!  My relatives have a poodle dog that jumps on whoever walks in, so everytime I need to make sure that someone holds him back to prevent the claws from greeting my pantyhose.



 Mickey Mouse Disney Character Pantyhose

I saw these funny pantyhose with Disney characters, Daisy and Minnie Mouse, on a Polish blog where they said that it was available online at some Polish store.  I checked it out, but couldn’t find the brand name.

funny Daisy duck pantyhose funny Minnie Mouse pantyhose





LETTER TO A FRIEND:  Today I got a package with pantyhose from Europe and our Canada Customs people declared it as “vehicle parts”

ANSWER: Well, your legs are a sort of a vehicle too!


Sex Pet Peeves

In Russian: “if a man doesn’t want to take off his socks during sex, don’t take off your pantyhose during sex”

if a man doesn't take off his socks don't take off your pantyhose


A shirt that looks like a jacket and stockings.  Optical Illusion.



funny, humour

How naughty are you?

sexy levels



I'm a queen of pantyhose


*Friends, please don’t forget that it is the shop section that generates funding. Have a look!*

9 thoughts on “Humour

  1. I remember a really embarrassing moment from when I was just a little girl. I was in second grade and wearing a pair of opaque black tights. These weren’t just any black tights, though. They had these big, shiny rhinestones all up and down the legs. Thinking back on it, they looked tacky as hell, but I loved those tights so much back then.

    Anyway, I had to go to the restroom after lunch, so I went into a stall, sat down and did my business. That’s when fate decided to play a cruel joke on me. I went to pull my tights back up, but they wouldn’t go up. I started tugging at them a little harder, but they still wouldn’t move. I knelt down to get a closer look, and that’s when I saw the problem. The rhinestones had somehow become locked together, and try as I might, there was no way to untangle them.

    So I did the only thing I could do. I sat there. This was long before iPhones and PSPs, so I had absolutely nothing to occupy myself with. It was just me, a toilet and my twisted up tights. It took an hour for my teacher to come looking for me, and by the time she found me, the school had already gone into disaster mode. My parents had been called, because the school thought I’d either run away or been kidnapped. All of the teachers were running around like chickens with their heads cut off, trying to find me. When my teacher saw found me in the stall and heard why I had been sitting there that whole time…boy was she pissed!

    Eventually, it took a team of three teachers working together to untangle the rhinestones on my tights, all while I sat there on the toilet. Naturally, my mother was less than pleased. The thing is, the only reason I didn’t take them off or rip them while trying to pull them up was because I knew my mother would be very upset if I did that. So what did she do as soon as we got home? She threw them in the trash.

    To this day, I still refuse to wear any tights with rhinestones on them.

    • Jenny, thank you for the story, I am surprised to hear that your mom tossed out your tights.
      Why didn’t you just remove the tights and bring them to your teacher or try to fix it yourself?

      My mom would get me to wear pantyhose with skirts. Every time I’d rip a pair, she would never say anything, but I’d somehow feel really guilty for damaging it. Well, I learned that skill to wear it carefully and now I rarely get my hose damaged.

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